Hypnosis Can Help You Become Immune To Hurtful Comments

Posted by on Oct 23, 2013 in Self-Esteem

People Can Be Mean.

 

That’s a fact of life. My Melbourne hypnotherapy client found this out the hard way when a night out on the town turned pear-shaped for her.

She was feeling pretty good about herself because she had lost a lot of weight and even though she had 12 kilos to go to reach her ideal weight, understandably she was was pretty chuffed with her efforts.

So much so that she decided to go out with her girlfriends for a fun night. She was wearing new jeans and feeling really proud of the fact that for the first time in years she could actually WEAR jeans. She and her friends hit the bars and clubs, dressed up and ready for some dancing.

After a while, a very drunk man began to harass her good friend. Her friend was very uncomfortable with this attention and was finding it hard to cope with the situation. My client stepped in and politely asked the man to leave her friend alone but instead of complying, the man became very aggressive.

Ranting and raving, he sprayed insults at my client and her friends, and in a final display of cruelty, labelled my client ‘ a fat ugly cow’. Ouch. My client was absolutely devastated. Given all the work she had put in so far to lose weight, this comment was beyond hurtful; and had she not been the determined, strong person I know her to be, it may have caused her to just give up.

On one level, my client knew that this man’s comments were borne out of his own self-loathing. On the other hand, it was hard for her not to slip back into her own old habits of self-loathing as a result of his behaviour. So what do you do if you are on the receiving end of another person’s cruelty?

First of all you must accept that the behaviour has nothing to do with YOU. Understand that happy, well adjusted people never intentionally say rude and hurtful things. Only damaged, insecure people do this. They do it because they have nowhere to project their own burgeoning self-hatred except onto other innocent people.

Secondly, know without a doubt that the comment, however hurtful, does not belong to you.

Throughout your life you may have been subjected to hurtful comments about your looks, intelligence, achievements and many other things. How do you handle these comments? Do you just curl up and die? Do retaliate? It’s a tough call and these situations can play havoc with your self esteem.

I would like to share some insight from The great Buddha himself. It concerns what to do when somebody gives you something. He said:

“If someone offers you a gift and you refuse to accept it, to whom does the gift belong?”

The obvious answer is that is belongs to the person who was offering the gift in the first place.

I do a lot of hypnotherapy work in Melbourne with clients who have taken on ‘gifts’ from other people that they don’t want. Using hypnosis, we visualise giving the ‘gift’ back to the offending person.

For all of you out there who have scalded by the malice of other people, band together and refuse to accept the insults. You are not what other people think or say about you. Rude and obnoxious people don’t deserve your energy.